LUNCH DOWN AT THE CHAR-BROILED
and SOUL-SEARED INN
By Dick Carmack
The Devil and “Most Senior Demon
Honorable Screwtape” were having a lunch of “Broiled Jr. Devil” (those that had
messed up) with dessert of frozen bureaucrat. They also had table guests from
the CIA, NSA, FBI and the White House, all of whom knew all about the mega-data
collection processes called “facebook, twitter etc…” That’s the internet system
that has been set up to build dossiers (info files) on every living person on
earth, so in case of need, it would all be there in black and white.
Screwtape, sweating profusely,
screwed up his courage and said, “Sir.”
“What is it Skull and Bones?”
the Devil asked.
“Sir.” He ventured again,
half-afraid he would be eaten for lunch tomorrow after the news he had to
deliver,
“Sir, we have a problem. It
seems things have not gone according to plan.”
“What are you under earth are
you possibly talking about?” asked Satan.
“Well Sir, you are aware of our
plan to destroy souls via “facebook, twitter” etc…., well Sir, it seems to have
backfired.”
James Clapper and FBI Director
Comer almost choked on their “leg of demon.”
“WHAT? Tell me Screwtape, and
make it short and accurate! Do you hear me?”
“Yesl Sir, it seems all the
real Christians that we thought we had trapped, have taken a pledge to not post
any more messages on facebook, twitter or ANY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITE, unless
they also say “I pray God will be able to Bless You’ and quote at least ONE
verse of Scripture!”
Now the Devil choked. He threw
down his fork and threatened to order nine demons to grab Screwtape and throw
him as close as possible to the Pending Lake of Fire that was waiting out back!
“How under earth did you let
this happen??? Tell me, you miserable
little piece of cinder-to-be! WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP IT?” Did you say ALL of the
Christians?”
“NO SIR! Just those who are
real, and not just pretending to be Christians!”
“It seems some fanatics
out there in New Mexico were the first ones to take the PLEDGE and now
millions and millions of them are doing it! Our prize project is being
flooded with ‘the Knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ!’ And there’s not a thing
we can do about it except send out more demons to sit on their shoulders and
whisper, “Don’t do that! Don’t do that! It’ll make you look like a fanatic and
your ‘friends’ will laugh at you! Don’t do that!”
“Every last one of them (the
hated Christians) have pledged,
“LORD give me_______ __________ the courage to stand up
for You. Remind me dear Lord, that every time I post ANYTHING on Social Media
to always say ‘I pray God will be able to Bless You’ and ALWAYS post at least
one verse of Scripture!”
“We have tried ridicule by
‘friends’ that don’t believe, but it looks like not even that is working. BUT I
HAVE A PLAN! Please don’t throw me near the Pending Lake of Fire….!”
“What’s your plan???” Screamed
Lucifer. ‘Tell me if you can, you miserable little scoop of ashes!’”
“Sir!” trembled Screwtape, “The only
solution is to shut it all down and come up with something else. Yes, I
know Mark Zuckerberg and the others will be disappointed but there are more out
there that will do our bidding.”
Satan held his head in his hands
and lamented with flaming hot tears,
“My greatest brain-storm tuned
against me! Who would have thought the very tool I planned to use to take over
the world and keep all of them away from Jesus, will now be used against me?
Curses! Curses! Curses! Laments, Laments, Laments!”
Clapper, Comer and the other
appointed trolls and all the “mainstream media” present fainted dead away, as
the “legs of demon” landed on the hot coals. Ninety-nine demons were instantly
sent to haul the “smoking big-shots” all out and deposit them out back near the
hot pond. As that happened, a terrible moan was heard rising from the Prince of
Darkness, pleading,
“Somebody, somebody, please,
please help me, please, I’m having heat-stroke.”
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